Day 2- Describe 3 Fears You Have & Explain How They Became Fears
Snakes- I am terrified of snakes. It’s weird though, because I can handle seeing them in aquariums and I think they are extremely interesting. I love to see them when I go to exhibits, where they are CLOSED up, in a cage. I can not handle them outside of a cage. When I was 11 years old, I was out playing in the woods with my cousin, and my neighbor. We had a pond back in the woods, and my friends and I would often go on “hikes” and explore the woods. I remember one time I was walking through the woods, and I happened to look down and there was a snake coiled up in a little mud hill burrow. It was almost like my eyes met with the snakes eyes, I was freaked out. Of course, being an 11 year old girl, I did the dumbest thing I could have done. I took my cup that was in my hand (yes, I was hiking with a CUP of water) it was a Crawdad’s baseball cup, how do I remember that? I have no idea. Anyways… back to the story. I threw the cup at the snake and took off like a rocket out of those woods. I told my neighbor and cousin to hurry up and come on, and they ran with me. We raced back to the house, and we were completely out of breath when we walked in. I remember running through those white French doors as fast as I could, telling my parents who just happened to be in the living room, that I had just ran faster than the wind. There were plenty of times through my young-adult life where I would tell my parents about something being fast, and they would respond with, “faster than the wind?” It became a family joke for years to come. If I watch anything on tv about snakes, or hear about snakes- I can not sleep. I feel like they are crawling on me and stuff. It’s super creepy, and I don’t think I will ever like them.
Losing someone close to me- This is probably one of my biggest fears; however, I know that in time, this is inevitable. For those of you reading that don’t know, I lost my dad only a few years ago, when I was twenty-three. He was only forty-nine years old, and he died of a massive heart attack. That morning when I woke up and got ready for church, and I told him “bye, love you, see you later,” I had no idea it would be my last. When something like this happens to you, after all the people are gone, and all the Bojangles chicken dinners are gone, and that person is no longer on Earth- all you can think about it losing someone else. At least that’s how it was for me. Weeks and months later, I found myself having nightmares about losing my brother, and losing my mom. It got really scary for a while. I honestly thought I was going crazy. After much conversation, I came to realize that that is all part of the grieving process. The problem is, it never really goes away. The nightmares have subsided, but the fear is still there. At one point, my brother had a sports bike. It terrified me so bad, that I got nauseous just seeing him on it. There were times were he would drive it somewhere, and we would be meeting, and I couldn’t stand to see him on it. To me, I felt like he was on a death trap. Although, he may have been a safe driver, there are others out there that are not. The thought of him wrecking, and getting hurt just scared me to bits. I already lost one of the most important men in my life, and I certainly can not stand the thought of losing another. With this fear always in my mind, I always make sure that I tell those closest to me how much I love them, and value our relationships. Although I could say it more, I try to do it often. Life is just too precious, and you never know when an “I love you” could be your last.
Drowning- This fear has stemmed from when I was 6 years old and in swimming lessons. I took swimming lessons and I thought I was a pretty good swimmer. I thought I could handle the deep end. I thought I could dive off the diving board, and pop back up once I hit the water. So, what does a normal 6 year old do at a pool party for her entire troop of girl scouts? She tries to show off, and be like the “big” kids. All the parents were socializing and talking about things going on, all my peers were in the shallow end of a friend’s backyard pool, and I thought I could handle it. I crept to the end of the long blue diving board, and I went for it. I jumped, and I didn’t come completely back up. I was fighting the water, and my peers started screaming for help. I can’t remember if my mom was there or not, it’s been so long ago… but I remember my friend’s dad jumped in and pulled me out. He saved my life. I was gasping for air, and water had filled throat. He pulled me out to the side of the pool, and I remember lying there thanking God that I was alive. Over the next few years, my water play was very limited. I was so scared. I was scared it would happen again. Finally, I regained the courage to go back in the water. I started swimming again, and I learned to conquer my fear. Still today, I get nervous when I am in the Ocean mostly. I get really scared of rip tides and the waves taking my under. I tend to stay off diving boards these days. Deep waters are not my thing. I’ll stick to the shallow end, and sitting on the edge of the pool soaking up the sun.
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